Added: Tranquilino Carraway - Date: 15.08.2021 01:51 - Views: 36010 - Clicks: 3433
I come from a very poor background. I have been homeless a few times. Through hard work and sheer sacrifice I was not only able to secure a good job for myself, but I spent my life as a teenager taking care of my entire family. That continued until my mids, when I started focusing on myself and trying to secure a retirement.
It was quite lonely. After a few failed businesses, I finally found real estate and dived right in. It cost me quite a bit, and I met a few bad characters during that time, but overall I purchased and rehabbed a four-unit condo and it turned a profit in five years. During that time, I found another four-unit building, which I purchased in cash. My ex is an electrician and was extremely helpful, so we got together quite fast as we spent lots of time together. He helped me with many projects, often supervising the labor, but I always paid for the supplies and any third-party workers needed.
He proposed after a year, and we got married a year later. He asked to manage the second rehab. He told me he knew more than I did about project management. Three years later, the project was not finished. When I questioned him, he got angry and frustrated. He dug us into a hole, spent money on things I told him not to buy, and went way over our original budget.
My husband left me in August.
He gave up on the project and our marriage. He said our marriage and business stressed him out. I never judged him, and knew I made twice as much as he did when we met, but that did not matter to me. I paid for most of our expenses the four years we were together, and he only contributed when he felt like it.
He tried to return in February, but we ended up fighting again. I could have finished it two years ago had I remained in charge. I have nothing legal in writing. If both properties were purchased in my name only before our marriage — and I have invested three times as much as he has in his failed project — who is owed what? Aside from the project, we have not commingled our finances.
I bought this building to use for income in retirement, as I am not some bigwig investor. In my current state, I would lose money if I sell it as is. Mediocre man meets a successful woman, convinces her that he is better at building stuff, is unable to oversee a project similar to one she successfully managed in the past, invests a fraction of the amount his wife invested, gets angry when questioned about his failures, picks up his hammer, and demands his money back.
And now? You have the money to talk to a good lawyer and get the lay of the legal landscape. Whether or not you live in a community-property or equitable-distribution state, collect documents: bank statements, s, credit-card statements, invoices, and anything that shows the contributions you made to this marriage. Be prepared. He may end up owing you money. You paid a price for a lesson that you will not forget in a hurry.
When I read that your estranged husband had arrived on the scene, I hoped it would not turn out this way. He did you a favor by bolting. The good news is you still have skin in the game, and you can finish the second project as you finished the first. But first you need to get tough. In order to do that, I would like you to build something that will cost you nothing except the grit and determination you have shown in your life thus far: a glass wall between you and your husband.
He is a crazymaker, a man who built himself up on a smoke cloud of false bravado. If he was the man he said he was, he would have built you up instead. You already managed a similar project under budget and on time. The only person you need to prove anything to is yourself. Hopefully, it will be a door that you have personally paid for and installed — one with a good lock and hinge, and a nice, hefty swing to it.
Readers write in to me with all sorts of dilemmas. Post your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns. You can follow him on Twitter quantanamo. Economic Calendar Coronavirus Recovery Tracker. Up Log In. Home Personal Finance The Moneyist. The Moneyist I successfully renovated a condo building.
My new husband offered to manage my next project — and it all went horribly wrong Last Updated: July 21, at p. ET First Published: July 21, at a.
ET By Quentin Fottrell. I lost everything, but started over and bought a home. Should we pursue this? I will not leave my house to my boyfriend in my will. Quentin Fottrell. Do you need a will? Yes, and this is what it should cover. I successfully renovated a condo building. My new husband offered to manage my next project — and it all went horribly wrong.
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